JOSHUAJENKINSis unremarkable

I'm a little late to the game on this one. I just caught it the other night at The Laurelhurst Theater in Portland which plays second run movies and (!)serves beer(!).

I had pretty high expectations for this movie from the previews I'd seen a few months ago. I was happy to go see it and was completely satisfied with the movie. Without giving too much away the situation is basically two assassins get sent to Bruges, Belgium for a job. "A job" is what you say when you're sent to kill someone without saying "sent to kill someone." It's very hip.

The story is solid and the acting is fantastic. It's witty and fun, but also dark and deep when it needs to be. Colin Farrell does a great job, as well as the rest of the cast. I felt a little ashamed to be laughing at the midget (sorry, dwarf) jokes, but the film is roughly fifty percent based on midget jokes. So I went a long with it, but I am a little disappointed that in 2008 we still use little people as a basis for comedy. But the little guy was a big racist so it's okay to laugh at him.

I would definitely recommend this movie. Be prepared for a little gore, but it's not too grotesque. It may be too late to go see but I will buy it and you can come over and watch it.

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I saw Kevin Spacey on CNN a few days ago for about thirty seconds before he opened his mouth and I was forced to change the channel. He was plugging his new HBO movie Recount and telling us all how Al Gore won the election. Eight years ago. You remember, when about a billion people much smarter than him and vaguely qualified to have an opinion on the matter debated the situation?

Yeah, that time.

So anyway I was flipping through the channels and saw Kevin. I quickly noticed that he wasn't trying to kill superman or fuck high school cheerleaders and deduced that it was his dumbass HBO movie. It's bad.

If you are a die-hard Al Gore supporter you'll probably like this movie. If you think what happened sucked and or was debatable eight years ago you may not really see the point to this movie. If you are an idiot you may like this movie. If you don't want to see a complicated situation presented in extreme bias you will not like this movie.

If you think Al Gore shits trees you may like this movie. If you think Al Gore is a dipshit and you no longer have any faith in the Nobel Peace Prize then you should ignore this movie.

I wish I still liked Kevin Spacey.

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Unfortunately I won't have cable until Tuesday (while I'm 3000 miles from my house) so I am forced to watch over-the-air broadcasts. What that means during the day before prime stuff comes on is basically just watching the CW. CW is almost good it's so bad. But not quite, it's just bad.

Right now an episode of Gossip Girl is on. I've never seen this show but I've seen the huge softcore porn ads in Times Square. The show is basically everything wrong with Cruel Intentions turned in to a really dull really long show. Obscenely bad writing, cliche after cliche, and pretty much the worst acting ever.

I don't even know why I'm wasting my time, I just wanted everyone to know that this show is sooooooooo bad.

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In the most unholy of matrimony perhaps the most disgusting device conceived by man is brought forth unto our poor unsuspecting world. In hell the New York Souvenir Store in Times Square you can find just about anything with a New York logo slapped on it.

The most heinous offender is what you see here. A fingernail clipper slash bottle opener. Two things which should never be mixed, fingernail clippings and beer, have now been thrust in to 2008's Nick and Jessica marriage. This device is on par with a douche/tooth brush.

Leave awesome combos in the comments.

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Walking in Times Square in the early afternoon today I see Sting and Mayor Bloomberg talking about trees or something. Lots of people gawking. Not interested unless Sting starts belting out Roxanne.

Went to lunch at John's and had some extraordinarily mediocre famous pizza.

Walking back to work I recognize a face walking across the street. I know I've seen him somewhere. He looked at with a "oh god please don't recognize me or acknowledge me" kind of look which I assume most vaguely famous people have perfected. He didn't have an entourage or anything and no one was looking at him, so he was probably having a good walk.

So he passes me and I spend half an hour racking my brain trying to think of who he is. It finally hits me, it's Jon Berthnal from the short lived sitcom "The Class." He's the open-mouth smiler in the picture. I really liked that show, I am pissed it got cancelled. What the hell, CBS. You dick.

That show also had Lizzy Caplan (she's like Shannyn Sossamon except she was in Mean Girls instead of The Rules of Attraction) in it and I may or may not love her. You may know her as the girl that exploded in Cloverfield. If you haven't seen Cloverfield yet, surprise, she explodes in it.

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