Due to a small travel hiatus at work I've had the time to watch a little television. Occasionally I'll flip on TBS because they tend to play a lot of Family Guy. Over the past couple of months I've noticed that they have two new completely heinous advertising techniques.
Technique the first
I'm half way through Family Guy, which is only about 22 minutes long as it is thanks to advertising and I notice Bill fucking Engvall start waltzing across the bottom of the screen. I hold my extended index finger in front of my face to cover up his cousin-marrying (speculation) ass; I am appeased for about three seconds. I holster my Bill-erasing finger and notice that he has picked up a little remote and he's pointing it squarely at the Griffin family. What's he going to do now?
Oh. No. He. Did. Not. Getoutofhere.
The little weasel paused Family Guy! And now he's talking about jerking off a cow or whatever his next episode is about. TBS and Bill, are you guys kidding? Is this a joke? Is this how desperate you idiots are for viewers? This is completely unacceptable. Commercial breaks used to seem like a horrible interruption, this is fathoms worse. I am actually measuring things in fathoms it is so bad.
Technique the second
I'm watching Family Guy again it goes to commercial break. Nothing unusual here. TBS has some doofus doing stand up, maybe advertising for some special they have coming up. I start listening to the guy's joke and he's saying something to the extent of "And yeah, Suzy, that slimy bitch, she starts eating some pizza at Cecil's. That cow can really throw down some food. FUCK BITCH LOVES SOME CECIL'S BRAND PIZZA AND SO SHOULD YOU HA. HA. HA. HA. IT'S SO GOOD. Can I have my check now?"
Seriously, that's not embellished. This freaking douche-nozzle is actually pimping pizza under the guise of stand up comedy. There are multiple of these ads.
TBS does not disclose at any point that you are watching an advertisement. Apparently their target demographic with these ads is the 18 - Snorts-Draino group. Does anyone really fall for this nonsense? It's awfully convenient that a handful of comedians have jokes centered around national retail brands and services.
Stop it
I'm really not sure what spurred these disasters of ad campaigns, but if I had to take a guess I'd bet it's all the hype around that new "internets" and how all the youngsters are watching their youtubes and holo's and raking in all that ad revenue. So this is TBS's counter-attack? Not in a million years will this work. Unless they're shooting for more pirated shows (since they pretty much syndicate 90% of their content as it is) they should probably go ahead and knock it the hell off.
I actually kind of like their show My Boys for some reason. There's some vaguely natural about it. Something that can't be said for their other terrible shows. That's about the only thing keeping me coming back to TBS at this point, and I'm really considering just cutting it off entirely.
Take that Turner!
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